Gualby Nation : February 2015

We went to see my family for Thanksgiving. It was an emotional weekend. We had lots of tears but also lots of laughs, hugs, love, support, and delicious food.

Being at my parents house is harder than at my house. I just keep waiting for Michael to walk through the door or come out of the back bedroom. The whole weekend I just kept feeling he was in the next room and that's why I didn't see him. We had a house full of loving people but there was this overwhelming and deep feeling of loss weighing down on us. Although we are each struggling in our own way with the loss of Michael, we all realize and acknowledge that we still have much to be thankful for.

Our family has always been connected to the beach. I feel a spiritual and peaceful energy come over me when I stick my toes in the sand, close my eyes and fill my lungs with salt air and listen to the waves wash upon the shore.

While the turkey was in the oven, we all gathered at the beach to let the sun warm our faces and the ocean wash away some of our sadness.

Conor and the kids were the most enthusiastic sand dune jumpers

Conor said he was doing it for the kids. . .

Although I have moments of such sadness, I am currently experiencing the most circle of life miracles fluttering in my growing belly. The sadness in my heart is replaced by such feelings of love for our next little family member.

The day after Thanksgiving, we got a beautiful tree and decorated it with Mariah Carey blaring through the ipod.

Enjoying the first of many reads of
How the Grinch Stole Christmas

Don't try to wax a surfboard in
our house without some help

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Elwood started preschool this year. I never thought I would send my little 2 year old to "school" so early. I thought I would be one of those moms that played and hung out everyday til the law told me he had to go to school, or just home school him. However, we are so happy with our decision. I teach yoga three days a week. I don't have to, it doesn't pay any bills. I want to. I love it, it keeps me practicing personally so I can give challenging, educated, well rounded classes. It keeps me involved in a community I love and respect. It allows me, as I guide my students to do so, to calm the mind, focus on the now, breathe and thus live more mindfully. On the days that I teach sometimes Conor would be off, or a friend would watch Woody, or occasionally he would go to a "Mommy's Day Out" at a local church-which he loved. He now goes to school while I teach and he loves it. I love it. No more planning last minute who would be watching Woody. We both know "I go to school and Mom teaches yoga class." The environment he is in is loving, warm, fun, and educational. (The Mommy's Day Out thing was a semi-supervised kid free-for-all) He comes home singing new songs and talking about all his friends and what everyone did that day. Our fridge and walls are covered with art projects and special paintings. He recently said about his teachers, "Miss Kim and Miss Renvia give me big hugs. They love me so much." It's only for three hours, a perfect amount of time for both of us. He loves being around all his new friends, and learning to share and cooperate with 11 other kids is something no amount of "play dates" can provide. He comes home and over lunch I love hearing all about his morning. My big boy.

First Day of Preschool
(technically it's pre-pre-preschool)

Elwood's best bud, Lochlan
is in the class next to him

School requested a photo of Elwood to put in his cubby. I was going to go with this one but instead chose the one below. Less stinker face, more happy face.

Forts Rule

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One of my favorite people in the Universe, Taylor, came to visit us. And she brought a friend with her, Tyler. The following photos are mostly courtesy of T photography

Bombing the hill

Woody working on his first surfboard

Making sure the rails feel just right

Done! Painted Elwood's favorite color. Headed to the beach to test her out!

Debating on going out or not.
The swell is pretty huge.

He did catch a few but I need to be on my game with this non swimming yet super confident little surfer. No picture taking time.

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September 2014.
The month we lost Michael.

These three children were our little lanterns of light and love in our darkest moments thus far in this life. My heart loves them so much which in turns makes it ache that much more for my parents, who lost their little boy.

The weather was so turbulent after Michael's death. Crazy tides, blue moons, eclipses, angry wind. Just lots of energy in the air, as if this world was telling us that the next world knows it just received a powerful energy.