agua dulce

It did not rain for the entire month of February.  February, the shortest month of the year, was painfully slow for us this year.  It had been an unseasonably dry December and January but February was breaking 100 year old records for number of sunny days in a row.  The tourists were amazed by the beauty and endless sun while the locals shared an underlying anxiety that comes with lack of rain.  The lack of agua dulce.  That is what every person here calls fresh water, agua dulce:  sweet water.  I now fully understand the name.  When it is taken away from you, and then it returns, there is nothing sweeter than letting that water rinse your hair and run down your back.  I've never been happier to fill my sink to wash dishes or let it run to wash my families' clothes.  The appreciation for sweet water runs deep in our family.  

 The main island of Bocas  has "city water" pumped from a reservoir that feeds all the homes, businesses, and hotels.  The outer islands are mostly rain catch systems with the town of Old Bank having a small amount pumped from an underground fresh water reservoir.  We all ran out.  Bocas a little later than the rest of us; but the reservoir ran dry.  Isla Colon was fortunate enough to receive aid from the government.  There was a desalination vessel that anchored off the island and R/O drinking water was brought to the streets of Bocas.  The ferry brought over water trucks and people were able to fill jugs and water tanks so they were able to continue to run their businesses and homes.  We have no roads in Old Bank.  There was no water truck; no desalination ship anchored in our bay.  In the town of Old Bank, people stood in long lines with jugs and buckets to fill from the one tap that was still trickling water from the underground well.  People that did not live by the ocean were digging deep holes in their yards to try and tap into pockets of groundwater; grasping at desperate measures to receive water of questionable cleanliness.  Hotels and airbnb's were turning away guests because they had no water.  Restaurants were closed.  There were outbreaks of sickness running through families because of the lack of hand washing and basic sanitary conditions.  Our family went on strict water restrictions in order to conserve the last of our rain water for drinking.  We used sea water for everything.  The feelings you experience when one of your basic needs is taken away is best described as uncomfortable.  We were not in danger; we were never in an emergency state.  We always had drinking water and we felt beyond grateful that we are right on the ocean.  But it was a constant thought, a constant anxious energy that was in our home, in every ones homes.  We showered in the ocean, washed our dishes and flushed our toilets with water from the sea for fifteen days.  Fifteen days might not seem that long but when every day your eyes are scanning the skies for a hint of a rain cloud and all you see is gorgeous clear blue skies, fifteen days is excruciating.  The kids hardly noticed, they loved the extra family time in the ocean and thought soaping up and then diving into the waves was nothing short of awesome.  They played around us as Conor and I relayed the buckets of sea water up to the house.  On day 5 or 6, I was feeling crusty and tired and frustrated.  Conor was researching desalination machines and the shipping costs to get well drilling materials here as fast as possible.  I was researching rain dance rituals to teach in home school.  We did not think about bills, about birthday presents, about plane tickets, about art projects or fun activities to do with the kids.  We thought about water, and how to get it.  It was eye opening to live in a way where a basic need such as fresh water was such an arduous task.  It started to trickle rain the last few days of February but honestly it was not relaxing.  It wasn't enough.  It gave the plants around us a much needed drink and it gave us a little hope that the drought was close to ending but this was the driest it had been in over 100 years.  This was suppose to be our rainy season. . . what if the endless, sun-filled Caribbean days continue? What can we expect during our "dry season" which was quickly approaching?  As March arrived, the rains started to come more regularly.  In a beautiful way actually.  There were heavy, tank filling rains at night and beautiful sunny days.  It was Panama Perfect.  The rains have continued and the anxiety through out the islands has almost completely dissipated.  Memories start to fade when needs are being met.  Conor and I are making plans to have back up water sources in the future because we do not want to be in that situation again.  This was always on the to-do list, it's just much higher on the list now.  We want to be out enjoying the endless summer, knowing we have water to wash our bathing suits and rinse the salt off our kids.  So, we are planning and researching in a less panicked way now but the experience has started me thinking about so many things. . .

 About other people in the world that live every day in a state of unknown over basic needs.  I can relate to those in need of fresh water but my heart aches for those whose basic needs of safety or of food are not met.  We always had each other.  Our fridge was always filled with healthy food and I have a partner that I feel safe and secure with and I knew we would make it work together until the rains came.  The environment in our house was still filled with love for our kids; they barely noticed the strain it was putting on their parents.  It made me feel small and sad about the state of our world.  After my heart ached for the people that every single day are fighting for basic needs of food, water, and safety.  I started to think about the environment.  Why is our rainy season so incredibly dry?  What will come next? Is this just a random dry spell or is it something bigger?  Are we causing so much harm to our planet that she is reacting?  That she can no longer handle the abuse we continue to give?  Is Mother Earth past the point of being able to take all the trash and the fossil fuels and the carbon dioxide and the deforestation and lack of caring and action from her children that she's had enough.  I'm a mom, there are only so many warnings I can give my kids to "please pick up your toys.  Be grateful for what you have and take care of it" before I start throwing toys away and telling them that "they don't deserve the toys because they don't take care of them and appreciate having them!"  Is Mother Nature saying "Enough! You ungrateful, selfish children!  You think nothing of your neighbor or your oceans or the food and animals you grow and feed yourselves.  See if your fat wallets can save you when the oceans are dead and there is acid rain falling from the skies. "  I get it: Every Mother has their breaking point.  

The tourists I talk to from around the world, say things about their home country like "It has been the hottest/rainiest/coldest etc. on records in years!"  Climate change and the increasing temperatures in our oceans, excessive pesticides contaminating our groundwater, plastic found in the stomachs of the fish we eat, polar bears starving from the lack of icebergs, multiple floating islands of trash in the oceans, super storms and polar vortexes.  It all overwhelming.  It is all heartbreakingly overwhelming.  Seeing recent pictures of the trash in the waters of the Bay Islands off Honduras and on the beaches of Belize takes my breath away. We sailed those exact areas just a few years ago and it was not there.  It was not there.  The Bay Islands were a pristine snorkeling spot.  The pictures are shocking, disturbing, and hard to believe.  It's as if we are on an accelerated path of destruction of the earth and there are moments I feel as if I am holding my breath when I think of what may come.  What state will Mother Earth be in when my children want to travel and explore?  What extended droughts, floods, or super storms will they endure?  What ocean will my children snorkel in? The beautiful crystal clear waters of my memory or a trash filled wasteland?  When will the fish be claimed as too dangerous too eat because they contain more radioactive caesium and digested plastic then omega 3's??   How much longer can we go on with the fossil fuels and single use plastic everything and morons in power that care more about money than protecting the earth.  How the F*!% can Bocas del Toro, a 3rd world island in the Caribbean, ban plastic bags and plastic straws but every city in the USA besides San Francisco cannot? 

 Conor and I are trying to raise children that are aware of the issues and how to help on a small scale.  We explain if everyone did a little, it would make a difference.  We try to live responsibly, we are aware of our footprints.  Our children want the plastic crap toys from China at the stores, every kid does.  We don't just say no, we bring an awareness to their open, impressionable minds that it will just end up in the garbage in a few days because it will break.  We explain why in the hopes that it will help form their minds into the next generation of humans that are more aware, more mindful of the trickle effect of our decisions.  The problem as a whole is overwhelming to the point where I don't even know where to start.  So, we start in our home, in our basic decisions everyday.  Everyone uses a reusable water bottle, we have canvas grocery bags, we buy animals and vegetables that were not fed or sprayed with cancer causing toxins, we try to be mindful of what we are doing, what we are teaching.  There is a shift happening in the world.  I feel it.   Some days its hard to see but I know there is a generation of parents telling a generation of little humans that Mother Earth needs some love and attention.  And this generation will see changes we can hardly imagine.  As a mother, I can only hope the changes are not larger trash islands in our oceans and greater, more powerful storms but rather changes of awareness.  A shift towards gratefulness, education, a sense of a world wide community and a movement of doing what is best for the well being of each other instead of the well being of our wallets.  A generation empowered to stop and help reverse the damage that Mother Earth has endured.  With this shift, the future will be full of smart, conscience people surrounded by lush forests and blooming gardens and healthy oceans.  

Sooooo, I wrote that out as almost a stream of consciousness about a month ago.  I almost didn't post it.  It was therapeutic just to write out.  The stress of February was fresh on my brain and I was angry at the selfishness in the world.  However, as I re-read it, I still believe everything I wrote.  My heart does ache for the state of the environment.  As the kids and I pick up plastic toothbrushes, old flip flops, Styrofoam take-out containers and plastic water bottles from the coastline in front of our home, I do feel helpless at times.  And then there are days, where I feel hope.  I know there are parents out there teaching their children to be aware, to be respectful, and telling them that there is honor in taking care of the environment.  That there is honor in knowing and loving the cleansing abilities of the trees and plants, the power of the mighty ocean and, of course, the great sweetness of the agua dulce.       

This is the only picture I have of the experience.  No pictures of us soaping up in the sea, no "team family" pics of everyone carrying a jug of salt water to the house.  My mindset was not of photos or blogging or capturing this memory in our lives.  My mindset was only of water and how badly I wanted it.  

almost every day this was the forecast.  I just stopped checking after awhile.