Gualby Nation : Our Little Sweetie

I've never been big on the term of endearment, "Sweetie." Nothing against it, it was just never a word I used. But that's what you are my little Tohi girl, Our Sweetie. I think Dad started using it first and then Woody. After hearing those two call you Sweetie, well, that was your name. You are our little Sweetie. We are so crazy for you. Each in our own way we love you so deeply. You have changed our family. We are four members now, we are softer and kinder because of our little Sweetie. Funny enough, your personality isn't exactly "sweet." You are, of course, a nice little peanut but if I were to describe your top traits it would be funny, silly, bossy, wild, loving, bossy again, and then sweet. You truly are a sweet little girl but you have so much spirit and sass to you that to simply describe you as sweet is inaccurate. It's not enough to describe the huge personality and love you bring to our family.

Your nicknames: T, Sweetie, Our little Sweetie, Butterbean, Butterbean Queen, muñeca, muñecita, Gorda Guapa, (the spanish names being what everyone in town calls you. People comment all the time about our little "doll"), Toe-zilla, and Tohi the Destroyer.

What you are like at One Year Old:

You are sweet and funny and squawk-ey and bossy and loving. We joke that your personality is a lot like Dads. You don't have a great deal of patience. If we are making you a snack you feel the need to stand on our feet and grab up at the counter while making impatient sounds/squawks. It is as if no one is moving fast enough for you. You are sweet and loving and lately you've been showering everyone with kisses. If I'm not paying attention you make these sweet inquisitory sounds and then lean in for a kiss on the lips. After you give a kiss you pause and look the person in the eyes and smile. You can melt a heart. You really love me and Woody but Dad holds a special spot in your heart. You climb up in his lap and snuggle in as if to say, "yeah this guy understands me. Why is mom so slow with the snacks." You give sweet hugs where you wrap your little arm around our necks and lay your head on our chests.

You've been pointing for months and it's deliberate and funny. You point at someone that enters the room and your chubby little arm will follow that person around as you smile and make little happy chirps. Your finger singling the person out and your happy face saying "You! You! I'm so glad you are here." You make the cutest little noises that I know are soon to be your sweet voice trying out all the new words around you. You also have this god awful scream/squawk. We call it the pterodactyl and its ear piercing. It comes out if Woody has taken baby from you, if your cheese is not being sliced fast enough, if the pancakes are taking too long and then "pterodactyl squawk! They are too fucking hot!" You are demanding and bossy and we have just started addressing the idea that you are not, in fact, the boss of the family. It's hard though, that Pterodactyl scream is effective. I just want to make it stop and right now your bossiness is just hysterical most of the time. You are this tiny, blond, chubby little force in our house. We mostly think it's funny because you are so little but I'm sure the humor will be lost as you grow older and you realize you are not the boss of all the things. Ha!

You love clothes. Truly love clothes, shoes and accessories. It's so funny. You go to the door where we keep our shoes and butt bump against it until one of us opens it and you happily waddle run yourself out to get your crocs and then you run back in to show everyone your shoes and you place yourself down in my lap or dads so we can put your shoes on. You love to pull my bikinis off the railing and put them on and walk around the house with the strings all about. You come running when I fold a load of laundry on the couch so you can look at all the different clothes. You pick out the prettiest ones and try to put them on. It's really funny. We make a fuss over how beautiful you look and you smile so huge at us, as if to say "Yep, I agree. I do look good."

You use to be such a chubby little butterbean but you are getting leaner by the day! You are losing that baby belly and those thigh rolls! I miss them already! You have the sweetest head of blond curls. We thought you were going to maybe be a red head and at times I still see hints of gold in there but mostly you are very blond and curly. You love a barrette in your hair which is adorable and very functional. You have five teeth; two on top, two on the bottom, and a molar.

Your favorite things to play with are: anything that Woody has, glass cups and jars, computers, computer cords, electrical wires, dog food, baby, belly buttons ( yours and others.)

Talking:

You are not really saying too many words but you are quite vocal. You always have been. Just a lot of little sounds and squeaks and chirps. You started saying dada around 10ish months. At first I thought it was just a sound but it truly was just to dad. He would walk in and your face would light up and you would exclaim "dadadadada!!" Then just dada. You very cutely grab your bunny and say "Hop! Hop! Hop!" Over and over as you bounce him up and down. Your most consistent word by far is "Hi!" or "Hey" (you switch it up) It's with a huge smile and the cutest little friendly wave. You win over a lot of strangers with that combo. And you melt our hearts all day with your genuine loving and friendly "hi" smile and wave every time any one of us walks near you. Tohi, you have the best smile. You have that big, beautiful, contagious Michael smile. Where your whole face is somehow smiling not just your mouth. It's big and bright and beautiful and happy. Most things that remind me of Michael make my heart hurt, even if its just for a second, but your smile makes me happy through and through. I only feel happiness and love when I see your sweet face smiling up at me.

Sleeping:

You are getting slightly better at sleeping. Some nights you still wake 4,5,6,7 times and those nights are hard for us. But some nights you wake only twice. We've developed a bottle habit at 13 months. That's right STARTED a bottle habit at 13 months old. You were waking every 30 minutes to every hour and a half to check in with me, all night every night. You would nurse but you were not hungry. I was your comfort, your pacifier to find for a second or two and then roll over and go back to sleep. I weaned you from nursing in the hopes that not nursing would help you sleep. It did not. You don't really like milk. We've tried fresh coconut milk and organic almond milk and they are just not your thing. I can't bring myself to give you the cow milk here, everything is just too unregulated and unknown. So, your bottle habit is with water. Since I have accepted your bottle habit, evening put downs are just fabulous, as are naps most days. You know the routine, we walk up to your room with our bottles, have a quick snuggle and then you are so happy to be put in your crib to flop around and make happy noises as you slowly enjoy your bottle of water. It's life changingly different than the put downs before your bottle habit. You love your bottle. I love your bottle. I see you get all excited when I'm filling it up at bedtime. There is no crying or fussing or mom guilt. Just a peaceful put down and it's awesome.

Eating:

You are a great eater and you really seem to enjoy food. You get excited when I'm getting a meal or snack ready and then your first couple bites you smile and look so happy. It's super cute. You can impressively use a fork and spoon. Several meals a week you out eat Woody and use your utensils better than him. Truth.
You are not too picky with foods. You really like rice so I can sneak chopped up spinach and other good stuff in your rice and you don't notice. You loooove juice. If you didn't have an older brother you probably would not have even tried juice yet but you have, and you are crazy for it. If you see a juice box, you manically point and chirp and point and chirp and look at us like "Come on already people!!! GIVE THAT TO ME! I love juice and YOU KNOW THIS!!"

Walking:

You took your first shaky steps at the end of your eight month. Then, a few shaky steps here and there during your ninth month, usually still liking to hold onto something as you cruised around. By ten months, all the walking came together and you were so proud of yourself. The being dangerous came shortly after. You love to watch Woody do crazy things. You watch him run, jump, and leap over and under and on everything he can. You point and squawk and laugh and try to do something similar.

Looking back on this past year, if I am being completely honest, it has been hard. You have not been an easy baby. You've been inconsolable at times. I've ran down streets with you slung to me to put you to sleep. I've bounced you on exercise balls. Dad and I use to have to take turns almost violently swinging you in a hammock to put you to sleep, only for you to wake up a few minutes later. Since an early age, you have not been mellow. You rarely just wanted to be held. You wanted to get down and explore and touch and crawl and walk and run. You don't want to be in the backpack or pack n play outside watching us garden, you want to be in the dirt eating it and getting ant bites, damnit!
I have tried my hardest to honor you, to let you shine through. To not make you something, well, easier. Although this first year has not been the easiest of years, Dad, Woody and me have loved you every moment. You are this brave, wild, loving, open, feminine spirit. You bring a brightness to our lives that we didn't even know was missing. We could not love you more.